Monday, August 14, 2006

new shoes and roach warfare

today tnt had a shoe clinic on the upper east. shoe clinic - good. upper east - bad. not because of my usual upper-east prejeduces (i put those aside for charity) but because from where i work (tribeca) it is absolutely the hardest place to get to from my office. to quote some old movie or another..."ya can't get there from here". and it's the typical meeting spot for wednesday night runs. at least i got a little practice in.

i was not exactly dressed for testing out new sneakers. i had client meetings during the day, and a dinner with a client that night and so was wearing a black dress. let me tell you, those new balance sneakers complimented that dress like no other shoe could.

basically, the sneaker people would give you a "neutral" pair of shoes to run in (i take this to be the shoe for the person with the person that doesn't pronate or supinate and then they make you run down the block and back and give you shoes based on their assessment.

i tried on three pairs. the third pair felt best. they turned out to be, of course, the most expensive. i almost went with the 2nd pair but figured i at least owed it to myself to cush my feet just a little bit until they toughened up. charlotte got a pair too, along with some other runners-wear and it was back to the express train downtown.

after a client dinner where i ate too much rosa mexicana, i ascended my 6 flights of stairs and was going to quickly check the e-mail before bed. ah, what a nice, relaxing idea that was.

not 5 seconds after i logged in, i heard the sound of a little piece of plaster falling (my ceiling has been "under repair" since i moved in" and was horrified to find...a roach had crawled out of the hole.

all sorts of explitives ran through my mind. when you move to nyc, you're forced to reside yourself to the idea - scratch that, the the reality of roaches. you know they're there - you know there are probably thousands more than you ever dreamed are there, but you live in a very cautious truce with them. they are not allowed to come out when the lights are on. and if they do, you must kill them. that's all there is to it. if they stay where they belong - aka where you can't see them - you and your neighbors and the rest of the city pretend that they don't exist. at least not in your apartment. the little creepers are just not allowed to be seen out. it's the only way people can live in this city.

so the little screw ball that decided to crawl on my ceiling when, in fact, the lights were FULL BLAST. well, he had it coming. i ran for the raid...and, to be just a little fair, i even just kind of waved the can at him before spraying to give him a chance to crawl back from whence he came. (okay, in truth, i really didn't want to deal with what would happen if i sprayed him and he either fell on the ground dead or undead.) no such luck.

i sprayed with all my might and what i learned in that 15 seconds is this. raid does NOT kill bugs dead. damn advertising. raid doesn't do anything to those things. all the raid does is make them crazy. it's torturous - to me and the bugs. it makes the cockroaches tweek out, run aimlessly too and fro, scaring the daylights out of you in the meantime.

it's obviously what happened. jen sprays bug. and sprays. and sprays. bug finally falls off ceiling and onto floor. i shriek like a girl and hop up and down (yes, i realize this does nothing to help the situation). the bug runs behind my bookshelf. [expletive] he emerges...i grab weapon of choice...a...purple flip-flop! a smash....and he's gone. SERIOUSLY?? after about 30 seconds of raid and a full on smash, not only is the little sucker not dead, but he had enough in him to run away somewhere.

so now the thing, half smashed, totally poisoned, has crawled somewhere in my little bookshelf to die. it's right about now that i wish i had a boyfriend. because you can better believe i'd have him digging around back there for the little bug corpse.

i'll leave you with an image of me with a homemade face mask to combat the massive amount of chemicals i released into the air. i think the fumes bothered me more than the roach. if anything happens to me in my sleep, you know what to tell the docs...

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