Monday, September 18, 2006

just about done being a whiny brat

okay maybe i wasn't a brat but i sure was whiny.

i'm walking rather normally today with minor minor minor bits of pain. this allowing me to take off the bratty pants, and put back on my good-spirited, optimistic ones. and because i was feeling more or less normal, i did entertain the notion of trying to run today.

i'll let you in on a little secret...i am quietly competitive.

there are some people that are very very competitive by nature, and you know. i'm not one of them. i'm more or less a pretty laid back person, don't typically have to have everyone's attention all the time, and i know how to listen probably better than i know how to talk. but, when certain stars times i am the most competitive person you'll ever meet. you'll just never know it, because it's all inside.

this secret competitiveness of mine is generally played out in conversations inside my own head. (hmmm - now you're thinking not only is she funny crazy, she's crazy crazy.) this was played out on saturday when i was stuck walking while everyone else was running. it was maddening, as i said in saturday's post, the interior dialogue between me and me was not pretty. i'm going to say something that's going to sound kind of conceited but it really isn't meant to be: i'm pretty good at a lot of things. not all of them are substantial things (some of my odder talents are ping-pong & pinball), but a lot of things none-the-less. i think the best way that i've heard it put is "jack of all trades, master at none. what i'm trying to say is that it's been really hard for me, just for these 4 days, *not* to be able to do something well. and it's a lesson in humility and being humble and learning limitations, which are very good lessons for me.

and so today, instead of running i'm going to either go to the gym and use the elliptical thingy or go to yoga class like a good girl. and we'll see how i feel tomorrow.

a shout out to handsome who ran 9 miles!!!on Saturday. that is amazing and i'm so proud of you. and yes, i am just a little bit jealous. [grin]

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