san diego marathon: the race - miles 0-13.1

the wake-up call was the first to go off.

i had passed out quickly and deeply, and didn't even hear my roommate sneak back in to the room. i knew the alarm was going to go off shortly, so i allowed myself a few minutes to wake up while laying in bed. i managed not to fall back asleep and jumped in the shower.

i was happy i had my clothing all ready...and i started eating my roll with peanut butter and banana and chugging water as i got dressed. L and i ran around the room making sure we had goos and transportation bracelets and phones and hats and water.

as you can imagine, i was a bundle of nerves. i was cursing myself for making my big declaration at the team meeting the night before. why couldn't i just keep my big trap shut and surprise everyone if i was feeling well? nooooooo i had to be all public about it. it was kinda like when i signed up for the marathon originally - i talked about it constantly so that i couldn't back out. i think i was thinking similarly about this...if i told people, i'd have to run.

of course this time was a little different, in that i honestly wasn't sure if i could make it. in my head i still thought about that 13.1 mile escape hatch. we hung out waiting to go to the bus. the producer for the video spotted me and i did a little interview. ramon came over and put his arm around me "baby, if you do well today, i'm going to have to incorporate some of your training tactics." i laughed "yeah well, we'll just see how i feel when i get to 13..." ~sigh~

we finally got on the bus, and spent the ride applying TNT tattoos. it was still dark, and it was a bit misty. we arrived at the park, which, thankfully had more porta-potties than i had ever seen. we found a good spot and everyone dropped their things and began making their first of many trips to the bathrooms.

it was night and day from phoenix, where we barely had time to get ourselves in order before we began. the race was starting at 6:30, and it was only 5:20. so many runners. one woman obviously had been there for a while, had set up a little bed, and was sleeping in a garbage bag.

next was applying sunscreen. even thought it was cloudy, i knew you could still get burned relatively easily, so i lathered on the 30. the nervous energy was certainly palatable. next was the body glide. someone had made a joke about how there are some people who are far too comfortable about putting on body glide in front of others, and yes, my friends, that would be me. chafing was the last thing i wanted to deal with on top of all my other...obstac...er...challenges i would be facing that day. so body glide on every single possible location of friction was the solution. oh yeah.

after a few more trips to the bathrooms, soon it was time to check the bags into the ups trucks. my number had already fallen off so i scrambled for extra pins to refasten it to the rope. some of the trucks had really long lines, but luckily for me not the Ga - Hi truck. i ditched the back, strolled back to the spot to see if i could find the rookie, but only cap and another mentor was left. cap had sent the rookie on his way to make sure he had plenty of time.

i was supposed to be in the 6th corral, which is pretty high for a slowpoke like me but i figured what the hell. i actually spotted the rookie and his roommate right there in my corral, so i maneuvered my way over and we all hung out waiting for the start. there were sooooo many people. a military general (a woman) was playing mc and announced the national anthem, someone sang...and before you knew it, the gun went off and we were all cheering and headed out - walking of course for the first minute or two waiting for things to get moving, and finally at a slow jog.

the first few miles were fine. i was freaking out but it was kind of good to be "back out there" running. my shins seemed to be fine, it was cool, and there were so many runners and even spectators out. the beginning of the course took us by the zoo and balboa park, through downtown, by the water and back north again. this part of the race was about 7 miles. and for just about all 7 miles, i alternately felt great and like crap. at points i thought, sure no problem! and other times, i felt winded, cranky, and tired. we saw the coaches around the 3rd or 4th mile, and they so ridiculously enthusiastically cheer for us, you can't help but smile.

its funny, but the first 8 miles, even with the hemming and hawing, went pretty quickkly. as we approached the 8th mile i was on a downswing, feeling like there was simply no way i could run 26.2 miles today and i would be a complete idiot to attempt it. but then, as we headed back through the main area, and the crowds thickened and they cheered and cheered and there were so many signs thanking team in training...i started to perk up.

my body seemed to finally settle into the run, and with each passing crowd i got more at ease. i began to smile more. running a marathon today seemed less...impossible. between the miles of 8 and 10, the marathon seemed painful but possible. i might have to walk, but it would be possible. there was no way i was going to beat my time, but did that really matter? finishing this thing was reachable.

at mile 10 i finally found a bathroom stop with only one person ahead of me - time to stop. i stretched while i waited and was in and out of there quickly, continuing on. we were on the highway, which was a bit sloped and slanted, but even that wasn't bothering me too terribly. there were some hilarious straight men dressed in bad drag; spectators with banners on the overpasses above us; cheerleading squads galore. and before i knew it i had passed mile 12.

while my brain was nervous, my body still felt great. and for bouv, for anthony, for all the survivors out there, for that 83-year-old womand, for all the people that believed in me the first time around and, because i had faith that i could, at "the moment of truth", when the time came that i could bail out, at the 13.1 mile mark....
i continued on.

san diego marathon: saturday, part 2

after the rest of the speakers, the rest of the team headed back to the hotel to decorate singlets and i hung around to get interviewed for a new TNT recruitment video.

i was super antsy to get back because i knew that after the decorating, we'd be having essentially a big mission moment - one of the most inspiring times of the weekend. i was waiting for a guy to finish getting interviewed, and then i was supposed to be next...but it was not to be. a cute little old lady was waiting with her son to be interviewed, and the producer asked me if i could let her go first. as much as i really didn't want to, of course i said yes.

this would change the course of my weekend.

so it turns out that this woman was the oldest tnt participant. she was here in san diego for her 9th marathon. HER NINTH. she was going to run the first 8 miles and walk the rest. i stood eavesdropping, in awe of her. 83. 9 marathons. and my mind started spinning again.

finally it was my turn. i got interviewed and talked about why i was running. i talked about bouv and my first season. how that marathon was and why i was back. i told them i had auctioned off my butt on ebay and got a good laugh. they asked me what event i was running, and i found the answer coming out of my mouth was "i don't know."

by the time we wrapped, it was late. they arranged a private bus ride back for me, and for those 15 minutes my head was spinning. that little old gal put me to shame. 83. EIGHTY-THREE. jill. coming back from stage 3 lymphoma to run her first marathon. all the other survivors on our team and all the people that were there running to make sure that we could someday find a cure.

i flew off the bus and downstairs in time to hear more of our teammates stories. one gal from brooklyn who has had way too many people in her life be affected by cancer. her dad was in the hospital with pneumonia, run down by chemo. she talked about how she had only run 14 miles, and everyone was telling her she should only do the half. her retort: screw the 1/2, i'm running the full.

there was a pause between speakers, and i stood and took a deep breath.

"hi, i'm roxie, your fundraising captain. in case you were wondering who was was sending you all those annoying emails every week, well, that would be me.

so, i know you guys think all us mentors have it all figured out, but the truth of the matter is that i'm scared as shit about tomorrow. see, i've had really bad shin splints this season, and haven't run much in the last 5 or so weeks, and so i decided to run the 1/2. i figured, you know what? i just ran a marathon in january, i'll just go and run the 1/2 and cheer everyone on.

but then, see, the reason i was late was being interviewed for this recruitment video and the person before me, well, the thing is, she was 83, and this is her ninth marathon. and between her, and you all, especially you first timers. you're such an inspiration to all of us and you know, i started all of this because i lost a dear friend to hodgkins, and in everything i've been doing, there's a piece that's just for bouv...and so, so...i just simply can't *not try* to run the full. so, whatever happens out there, thank you...really. and i'll see you tomorrow."

the rest of the night was now a scramble of making sure i had everything i need and guzzling water. since i missed singlet decoration, i had to go and find markers and white out. i went to the grocery store with the boys and got a roll with peanut butter and a banana on the side for breakfast. we were going to get pasta ordered in, but san diego is no new york, and instead we headed out to forage for take out. on the walk, i called my parents. i didn't want them to worry, so i didn't tell them about my new plan. instead when i got my sister on the phone, i swore her to secrecy.

"do not make any faces, and don't say a word, but i'm going to try to run the full tomorrow."
there was an extended pause, and a high-pitched "why?"
"because i got inspired and i can't not try, but i don't want mom and dad to worry so don't say anything."
she grudginly agreed, and i told her i'd call after the race.

we ended up with thai. i got the most mild and safe thing on the menu: fried rice. the boys ate downstairs and i headed up to multitask. i was so nervous at that point that i wasn't really hungry. it was already 8:45 and we had to be downstairs at 4:15am...so i was trying to get to bed by 10, but i knew it probably wasn't going to happen. the rookie came up to use the computer and i ate and decorated. i might have been more nervous than he was...ug. he finished up and i wished him good luck, and continued decorating. i pinned my number to my shirt, attached my chip to my shoe and put out all my clothing for the race and afterwards.

as i put the finishing touches on my singlet, my roommate finally came up with her stuff. she was about to write out about 20 good luck postcards for her mentees and another mentor who was staying in another hotel. i insisted she give me a stack, and we tore through them. the poor thing had to go downstairs and get the room numbers from the front desk and deliver them, and it was time for me to go to bed. i looked at the clock and felt a moment of panic as i set a wake-up call for 3:30am, and as a back up, the alarm at 3:45am.

it was 11:20pm, and despite all the freaking out, promptly passed out.

san diego marathon: saturday, part 1

saturday morning the whole team met down in the lobby for a 20 minute run together. a bunch of people had been stuck at jfk because of bad weather and i hadn't seen my roommate L yet. after a few minutes, we all headed out the back of the hotel for a quick down and back.

i don't know how to describe event weekend except to equate it to camp. except i've never been to camp, so its what i imagine what camp must be like. there's lots of excitement, and activities and a schedule and rah-rah-rahing. hmm. probably doesn't sound so fun when i put it that way, but it is. after the run, we all went to a grassy knoll to stretch. we were a big crew, and formed a circle, stretching and introducing ourselves and saying where we were from. nashville, italy, england, michigan, california, queens...i love the new york mix.

the next event on the schedule was the pasta party at 1, so jess, me, amanda and her mom went for breakfast, and i went back to the expo with amanda and her mom. they hadn't had the goo that i liked, so i was going back for round 2. the expo was three times as crowded, so i got my goos and ran back to the hotel to get ready to go to the pasta party.

we hopped the shuttle and headed to another convention center for the pasta party with 1/2 of all the tnt participants. as we walked in, we were surrounded by coaches and staff, all joyfully cheering and waving us in with pompoms, streamers signs and their voices. it's one of my favorite moments of the weekend - i snuck peaks at all the first timers, enjoying their touched, smiling faces.

we grabbed our pasta and grabbed seats. after we ate, it was time for the speeches. once again, "the penguin" gave his speech, cracking jokes about how the first timers wouldn't be able to stand tomorrow; letting them know it was okay not to speed through the marathon, to enjoy it because there is only one first; giving them the tips about how to round down their time. he also told us that team in training had raised over $12 million dollars for the LLS for the San Diego marathon alone!! SO amazing.

and then there was the touching one. a woman named jill - a mother of three who worked in a cancer ward. she began by telling a story how there was a group of older women who donated a bunch of knitted caps for the patients in the ward. she gave one to a woman there, and didn't think much about it. the next day, the woman flagged her down. there had been a note in the hat from the woman who had knitted it, who happened to be the woman's mother's best friend: jill's mom! the small coincidences would continue...but not necessarily as happily.

jill had a best friend, also named jill. jill #2 was a runner, and one day she decided to run the san diego marathon with a group called team in training. on the very same day, jill #1 found out that she had stage 3 non-hodgkins lymphoma. the mother of three had only a 30% chance of survival. from that day, both jills began battling, jill #1 with chemo and other treatments and jill #2 her training and fundraising. they fought together, supporting each other, finding strength in each other's fights. jill spoke strongly but with waves of emotion about how cancer robbed her children of their innocence and her husband of his vitality; how wonderful her friends and family were, rallying around them, buying presents for their children for christmas when they were too caught up in illness. the marathon came around, and jill#1 came to the san diego marathon, weak and fatigued, to watch her friend finish the marathon in her honor.

that was three years ago, and today jill is now in remission.

she was back in san diego to run that same marathon she had once been almost too sick to watch, with who else, but her friend jill.

san diego marathon: friday

so after much insanity at work all week, i finally stumbled into jfk at 7:45am on friday to hop onto my flight. as usual, i was a last-minute packer, but being all experienced at away-runs now, i was less stressed - you can always get whatever you left behind at the expo. i was very sad to see that i had a middle seat, so sleeping was less likely but even sitting in the middle, i was so happy to be sitting, with no one to talk to or e-mail.

jet blue is a great way to fly to california. between the satellite radio, direct tv, my book and magazine, the 5+ hours flew by in no time. i had run into a tnt-pal at the airport so we met up and took a cab to the marriot together. the hotel, as usual, was nice with a lovely big pool and hot tub in the back. we were able to check in early, and i looked down at my room number: 666. huh. after a moment's hesitation, i shrugged and decided it would be fine, since, to my knowledge i wasn't the anti-christ. at that point the sun was still peaking out around the clouds so we decided to hit the expo then head out to the pool.

as soon as i walked into the convention center and looked up my race number i felt some insanity bubbling up. my number is a low one, in the 6's, clearly a marathon number (vs. a 1/2). i filled out my waiver, leaving the expected finishing time blank, and went over to the people handing out the numbers. they're always so nice. i'm thinking that i might volunteer to do this at the nyc marathon...having a smiling interested face there really is great. the woman seemed to be excited to know people had come all the way from nyc, and of course excitement is infectious.

we roamed around the expo. i was on the hunt for power gel and a sleeveless to go under my singlet. the singlets are not the most flattering pieces of clothing in the world if you haven't noticed. i ended up buying not only a sleeveless, but a new sports bra and socks. kind of a "no-no" but i thought "i can break the rules a bit...i'm not worried about the 1/2."

we went back to the hotel hoping for some sun time, but june gloom had set in. we decided we didn't care and changed into our suits to hit the hot tub and pool. it was simply a joy to be outside in the water and decompressing. we chatted and relaxed and soon was back at "running the 1/2 marathon" is the way to go.

when our skin had turned raisin-esque, we called it a day. i spent a little qt by myself and met up with the rookie, who had arrived from cali, and cap who had flown in a bit after me for dinner. we ended up at a spanish place that we should have run away from as soon as we saw that spring rolls were an item on the menu. good company has a way of trumping bad food and service and after a few laughs headed back to the hotel. we went to the bar, and i had a whisky coffee. yes, drinking. i wasn't concerned about dehydration...i figured it was the perfect end to my day of relaxation and rest.

i...am a rockstar.

i haven't time for a full post...but long story short...

i ran all 26.2! without hurting myself! AND I BEAT MY PREVIOUS TIME FOR A PR OF 4:53:53!!!

and i'm still walking.

whole story to come soon, i promise, but honestly, i should have crashed and burned.

i must have someone pretty special looking out for me.

thanks bouv.

today's mileage: 26.2
season mileage to date: 191.1